技巧一：动作描写：心中有“画” ，笔下有“话”(画面感)
1.通过分解动作使之更具有画面感
①He thanked the man, took over the reins and led the pony in my direction. ②Seeing this, Mr. Rowe came up to him, crouched down and asked in a tone of tender solicitude, “What’s up?” ③With a pang of nervousness seizing his heart tightly, he stood in front of the door, wondering about the old man’s reaction to being disturbed a second time. Finally, he summoned up all his courage and knocked at the door. 情景1：碰到难题，苦思冥想。 What a complicated and difficult math problem! One second, Little John rested his chin in his hand and fiddled with the pencil. The next, he fidgeted in his seat and scratched his head over and over again, not having the faintest idea how to work it out. 情景2：成功爬上山顶。 The magnificent landscape unfolding in front of me, a sense of refreshment spread through me. Involuntarily, I stretched out my arms, tilted my head and exclaimed in delight at the top of my voice, feeling the crisp breeze on my face. |
鉴赏案例1：请根据所给句子内容，结合原文，续写后面的句子。 句子①：Suddenly, a boy ran around the corner and crashed into me before I could jumped out of the way. [习作展示和赏析] 学生句子1: As result, we fell down and the gift box dropped to the ground. 学生句子2: We fell hard to the ground, and my gift box flew from my hands and landed on the street with a thump. 【点评】句子1只停留在发生了什么，属于叙述。而句子2我们重重的摔在地上，礼物随之飞出去砰的一声落在地上，则是通过fell, flew from, landed on这三个动作来描写杯子掉落的场景。这个句子不仅讲述了事件发生的经过，还给句子加上了声音“with thump”!要使一个平淡 的叙述句子转换成一个生动形象的描写句子可以通过分解动作或给句子加上声音，来使描写更具有画面感。 |
添加符合情境的细节描写使之更具有画面感。
在人物动作描写之外添加其心理、神态等，有时也可以辅以适当的环境描写。
给动作“涂脂抹粉” | ①With his head drooping, John reluctantly turned around, and slowly inched his way to his room. ②In a sobbing voice, he admitted and regretted having cheated in the test. ③Without a momentary hesitation, I elbowed my way through the crowd in the direction of Lego section and all the way kept calling my brother’s name, a note of uneasiness in my voice. 情景3：发现一只受伤的小鸟。 On the grass ahead lay a swallow with an outstretched wing that was obviously broken. Seeing this, Little Betty walked swiftly beside the poor little creature, stooped down, and lifted it in her cupped hands gently and carefully as if holding a precious and fragile treasure. |
给动作“配上声音” 给动作“加上表情” | Taking a deep breath, he summoned up all his remaining courage and gently knocked at the door. With a flicker of anger in his eyes, the old man opened the door and snapped in a cold voice, “Why come again?!” Timidly, the boy stretched out his hands and stuffed his dog figurine into the old man’s palm. “For me?” asked the man, confusion registering on his face. The boy nodded, “I hope you’ll like it.” Eyes lingering on the figurine, the man’s face softened, and, much to the boy’s astonishment, it creased into a faint smile. “Thank you,” uttered the old man, his eyes red-rimmed with tears. 情景4：久别之后回到家。 The familiar sight came into view. Involuntarily, he clutched the handle of the luggage more firmly and quickened his pace towards his home, his mind drifting to the surprised and delighted expression on his mother’s face. Reaching the doorstep, he paused to compose himself, pushed open the door and exclaimed in delight, “Mum, I’m home,” with his eyes sparkling with anticipation. |
给动作“融入心理” | ①But I, consumed with intense anger at her sudden appearance in my doorway, just cast her an indifferent glance, ignored her pleading look and uttered no word. ②Torn between the overwhelming yearning for the delicate boots and the melancholy for our depressing Christmas, I came to a halt halfway to the shoe store. 情景5：憧憬假期。 With his chin in his cupped hand, he sat there motionlessly, all his mind on where to spend the long-anticipated holiday. Actually, all these days he had been racking his brains to figure out a plan. Then all of a sudden, he had an idea — how about going to the beach for relaxation? “Yes, that’s it!” he whispered to himself, his lips curving into a beaming smile. |
给动作“添上环境” | ①Anxiously straining my eyes, I scanned the toy store, but he was nowhere to be found. Outside, thunder and lightning continued; inside, chaotic noise rang in my ears. Deep anxiety dominating me, I was on the verge of tears and stood rooted in blackness, hopeless and helpless. ②Worse still, when the fire died down, the whole wilderness was enveloped in pitch darkness, with no one in sight. What kept us company was the chill wind that ruthlessly whipped my face, gradually devouring the last bit of the remaining hope in my heart. 情景6：得知被心仪的大学录取。 The Admission Letter clutched tightly in my hand, I jumped up and down with undisguised excitement. Tired, I lay down on the grass and hummed my little tune along with the birds’ twittering. The breeze, though a bit cool, blew into my heart, dispelling the anxiety that had haunted me for a long time. |
鉴赏案例2：请比较以下两句话，哪句话更符合例1中的情境。 1: When we got to the apartment, we plopped down on chairs. The air felt warmer, and the room seemed brighter. 2: When we got to the apartment, we plopped down on chairs. The air froze, and the room seemed darker than it supposed to be at dusk. 【解析】句2更符合。解析：回到家后，我和Aide生气的坐在椅子上。此刻，我们的心情应该是沉重的。仔细阅读句子1、2,不难发现，句子2更符合当时的情景。我们俩因为心爱的礼物被撞碎了，又伤心又难过。此时空气犹如凝固了一般，整个家看起来比往日显得更加沉闷了。可见，添加符合情境的环境描写能使描写更具画面感。 写作案例3：请用描写的方式将下句话中的省略部分补充完整。 "It isn't fair! Why did that happen？" Aiden cried. His lower lip trembled… ____________________________________________________________________ 参考答案："It isn't fair! Why did that happen? "Aiden cried. His lower lip trembled, his eyes were filled with tears and his hands shook. 【解析】 Aiden哭了，后面一串省略号可以添加符合情境的人物细节描写来凸显一个哭泣、伤心的人。比如说他的下嘴唇颤抖着，他的眼里充满泪水，他的双手颤抖，他的心如死水等，从而构建了一个立体的画面感。 | |
技巧二：关注词的质感，锤炼句子和段落
关注词的质感即准确理解词的含义，掌握近义词的区别，理解词的上下义关系等，从而选取最合适、最准确的词，从而达到细腻描写的效果。以下分别通过句和段落来说明如何关注词的质感。
鉴赏案例5：比较下列两句话，思考哪句话更好，并说明理由。 1. We fell hard to the ground, and my gift box flew from my hands and landed on the street with a thump. 2. We fell hard to the ground, and my gift box fell from my hands and dropped on the street. 【解析】句子1更好。比较1、2句子，句1中 flew from my hands(飞了出去), 夸张的手法使用说明礼物盒落地的速度； landed on the street with thump(砰的一声落到了 地上)，暗示礼物盒会严重受损。句1中flew from, landed on....with thump两个质感词的使用让续写画面跃然纸上。 |
技巧三：句型多样：长短结合，简繁交错
①What an adorable pony! Its slender body, its silky mane, its leisurely pace, and its shiny saddle, all kept me so spellbound that I couldn’t avert my gaze from it. (感叹句；名词短语；so...that句型)
②After what seemed like a century, the longing for boots finally gave way to the desire to buy a turkey. (名词性从句)
③Scene after scene, where Mum worked day in and day out and the whole family struggled to make ends meet, came flooding in my mind. (定语从句)
④Out of the dark forest came a man in uniform. It was the forester!(倒装句)
⑤Slowly, she turned around, and, mustering all her remaining strength, staggered towards the darkness, her back hunched and body slightly trembling. (独立主格结构)
⑥Sensing a note of sincerity in my voice, he, after a momentary hesitation, nodded and walked to his favorite cake. “May I have this one?” he enquired sheepishly. (非谓语动词)
⑦With his head drooping, John reluctantly turned around, and slowly inched his way to his room.(with复合结构)
⑧Eyes lingering on the figurine, the man’s face softened, and, much to the boy’s astonishment, it creased into a faint smile. (介词短语)
⑨When led out of the forest, Steve and I repeatedly stammered our heartfelt thanks to him.(状语从句省略)
读后续写高频语法
Œ 形容词做状语
表原因 _________________________(又沮丧又无助), Eric burst into tears.
[Depressed and helpless] [Curious to know what was happening inside] |
表结果 Eric finally made it to the top pf the mountain, _________________________(饥饿但却兴奋). Eric was encouraged by the teacher’s smile, [hungry but excited] [full of confidence in his plan] |
表伴随 _________________________(沉思), Mary sat still against the door. _________________________(迷失在森林中), Mary lay under a tree, [Deep in though] [Lost in the forest; full of fear and despair] |
高频语法训练(一) 1.回答不出老师的问题，学生们都保持沉默。 Unable to answer the teacher’s question, all the students kept silent. 2.在我回家的途中，我看到一个中年男子躺在路边，烂碎如泥。 On my way home, I saw a middle-aged man lying by the roadside, dead drunk. 3.因为害怕挨骂，Eric起了逃学的念头。 Afraid of being scolded, Eric thought of playing truant. 4.他躺在床上，睡不着，听着外面呼啸的风声。 He was lying in bed, awake, listening to the roaring wind. 5.Mary满脸通红，气喘吁吁地从大门口跑了进来。 Flushed and breathless, Mary bounded in through the gate. 6.Jack在他房间里来回踱步，陷入了沉思。 Jack paced up and down in his room, deep in thought. 7.在直升飞机的帮助下，Mary安然无恙地出了森林，见到了她的丈夫。 With the help of the helicopter, Mary got out of the forest and saw her husband, safe and sound. 8.困在迷雾中，我什么也做不了，只能哭泣，无助又失落。 Trapped in the dense mist, I could do nothing but burst into tears, helpless and disappointed. 9.他们同意再也不吵架了，决心要过上最充实的生活。 They agreed never to quarrel again, determined to live the life to the fullest. 10.我转过身来面对她，准备好了让她看到我眼中的愤怒和失望。 I turned over and faced her, ready to let her see the anger and disappointment in my eyes. |
通过介词结构：with; without, at the sight of, upon
(1)He walked away without a backward glance.
(2)At the sight of the ferocious wolf, I was seized by a strong sense of horror with my palms sweating.
(3)Upon hearing the bad news, she felt seized by a burst of sadness and couldn't help crying bitterly.
(4)On that dark and stormy night, the waves were crashing and the winds were howling
Ž with复合结构
with +宾语(名词/代词)+ 宾语补足语(不定式、 分词、形容词、副词、介词短语、名词)
______________________________(泪水流下她的脸庞), words failed her. She fell ______________________________(东西买齐), they headed for the church. [With tears streaming down her face] [with the light burning] [With all the things bought] |