高考英语作文读后续写范文仿写与扩写写作指导

2024-11-23 12:32 来源: 文化之窗 本文影响了:154人

仿写与扩写范文是写作学习的重要步骤

学习初期阶段,要学会先仿写,再发挥创造

当然,我个人认为,仿写并不是写得和范文一模一样,因为范文并不一定符合高考字数要求。

我们需要在分析原范文基础上,对原范文适当改写或者扩写


& 仿写读后续写从以下几个方面入手:

1.分析范文结构

2.进行适当修改,撰写新的情节(如果发现范文字数不够,就扩写)

3.分析原文句型

4.学生模仿范文句型,对原文句子适当替换近义词,如果要扩写,还要教新的句型

5.背诵,只有最后背诵,才能把仿写过的内容编成自己的


& 以杭州名校写作题高三开学考读后续写范文第一段为例:

原材料讲了:

作者的父亲是军人,原本十分沉默寡言,和家人不是很亲近。后来作者父亲战死,作者住进了他留下的房屋,偶然间发现父亲在留下的信,信中表达了对家人的爱和关心,于是作者改变了对父亲的看法

续写两段首句是:

As I stood in the house, my eye was drawn to a big yellowed envelope with two words “FROMARMY” on it.

I pulled out my telephone and made a call to that buyer.

范文第一段

As I stood in the house, my eye was drawn to a big yellowed envelope with two words “FROMARMY” on it. Driven by a heartstring tremor, I opened it to find a letter from my father during his military days. His familiar handwriting depicted him as talkative and homesick, which contrasted with my memory of him. Realizing he missed me as much, I silently resolved to keep it, as the house gained new significance. 


& 第一步:分析范文结构,画思维导图(简易版本)

颤抖的情绪(情绪描写)

→ 打开信什么时候写的信(行为)

→ 信上的内容透露出他的性格(详细内容)

→ 内容发现与我对他的记忆相反(感受)

→ 读信之后发现他想念我

→ 我决定留下这套房子不卖了


& 第二步:进行适当修改,撰写新的情节框架(本范文只有53字,不足以写满格)

在范文的结构分析基础上,补充新的细节

颤抖的情绪(情绪描写)

→ 打开信父亲什么时候写的信(行为)

→ 信里内容透露出他的性格(这句话可以改掉)

→ (补充我以什么样的方式读这封信的)

→ (信上的内容主要描述了什么)

→ 激起了我对他的记忆

→ 读信之后发现他想念我(补充感受)

→ 我决定留下这套房子(补充目的)

(原创)仿写结构+修改之后(横线为补充部分,其余为修改部分)

出于激动,我打开这封信。他得字体是那么让人熟悉。他在信里诉说着他对回家的期待,以及对母亲和我的思念,还有对不善言谈的歉意,我一边读着,一边惊讶他与我之前认识的那个男人有多么不一样。这些激起了我对他的回忆,眼泪开始在我眼眶里打转。意识到这才是真正的他,我决定留下这套房子不卖了,仿佛是为了弥补我从没有与他心对心交流过的遗憾。


& 第三步:分析范文句型

1.Driven by + 感受,主句(主谓宾)可以补充宾语信息 —— Driven by a heartstring tremor, I opened it to find a letter from my father during his military days. 

2.主句(主谓宾)+ which 引导定语从句(which代指主句的信息)—— His familiar handwriting depicted him as talkative and homesick, which contrasted with my memory of him. 

3.非谓语doing表达主动 宾语,主句(主谓宾),as 表达原因 主谓宾 —— Realizing he missed me as much, I silently resolved to keep it, as the house gained new significance. 


& 第四步:仿写+ 教新的句型(因为有增加的部分,所以要教新的句型)(原创)

1.(使用范文句型)Driven by both excitement and tremorI opened it出于激动,我打开我父亲在军队服役时期写的信。

2.(使用范文句型)His handwriting appeared so familiar他得字体是那么让人熟悉。

3.(用个排比句增加感情)He showed in the letter how much he looked forward to returning home, how much he missed my mother and I, and how much sorry he felt to us for never being close to us. 他在信里诉说着他对回家的期待,以及对母亲和我的思念,还有对不善言谈的歉意,

4.(使用范文定语从句 新句型)As I read, I was surprised at how different he was from the man I had known before, which brought about my memory of him, tears rolling in my eyes. 我一边读着,一边惊讶他与我之前认识的那个男人有多么不一样,这些激起了我对他的回忆,眼泪开始在我眼眶里打转。

5.(使用原文句型 新句型)Realizing this is the real him, I decided to keep the house, as if meaning to make up for the regret of never having a heart-to-heart conversation with him. 意识到这才是真正的他,我决定留下这套房子不卖了,仿佛是为了弥补我从没有与他心对心交流过的遗憾。

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