高考英语读后续写：4步曲助力续写得高分
2024-10-31 20:18
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文化之窗
本文影响了：17人
阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。The Meredith family lived in a small community. As the economy was in decline, some people in the town had lost their jobs. Many of their families were struggling to make ends meet. People were trying to help each other meet the challenges.Mrs. Meredith was a most kind and thoughtful woman. She spent a great deal of time visiting the poor. She knew they had problems, and they needed all kinds of help. When she had time, she would bring food and medicine to them.One morning she told her children about a family she had visited the day before. There was a man sick in bed, his wife, who took care of him and could not go out to work, and their little boy. The little boy—his name was Bernard—had interested her very much.“I wish you could see him，” she said to her own children, John, Harry, and Clara. “He is such a help to his mother. He wants very much to earn some money, but I don't see what he can do.”After their mother left the room, the children sat thinking about Bernard. “I wish we could help him to earn money.” said Clara. “His family is suffering so much.”“So do I，” said Harry. “We really should do something to assist them.”For some moments, John said nothing, but, suddenly, he sprang to his feet and cried, “I have a great idea! I have a solution that we can all help accomplish (完成)．” The other children also jumped up all attention. When John had an idea, it was sure to be a good one. “I tell you what we can do，” said John. “You know that big box of corn Uncle John sent us? Well, we can make popcorn (爆米花), and put it into paper bags, and Bernard can take it around to the houses and sell it.”When Mrs. Meredith heard of John's idea, she thought it was a good one, too.With everything ready, Bernard started out on his new business.
| 在社会经济萧条的环境下，大家仍心存善良，互相帮助。 |
| Mrs. Meredith, John, Harry 和Clara, Bernard, the sick man and his wife |
| | ①经济衰退期间人们互助共渡难关；②Mrs. Meredith乐于助人；③Mrs. Meredith和孩子们讲述Bernard一家的情况；④孩子们商量并找到帮助Bernard的办法 |
| Meredith乐于助人体现的是(caring, willing, helpful)→三个孩子想帮助Bernard一家，表现的是迫切渴望的情感(eager)→孩子们想出计划时应该是激动的(excited) |
| love, help and act of kindness |
根据续写部分两个首句中的关键词，确定续写部分情节发展方向，情节要简洁并注意各情节之间的相互衔接两“情”相悦 续写部分情节线和情感线的发展应与原文故事情节线和情感线一致，达到“两情相悦”。情节线体现的是Meredith乐于助人， Bernard需要帮助→如何助人→双方得偿所愿；情感线的走向应该是激动和感激(excited and grateful)。添加4细节 ①动作细节：续写第一段添加孩子取出叔叔送的那袋子玉米，准备纸袋的动作细节，呼应原文最后一段的细节；②情感细节：在刻画Bernard一家的激动感激的情感时，可利用介词短语；③心理细节：原文最后一句可描写Bernard的心理活动，升华主旨，也呼应原文主题；④环境细节：第二段可添加环境描写，渲染经济状况不好的人们，愿意掏钱买爆米花帮助Bernard，同时呼应首段末句，再次反映原文与续写部分的同一个主题：love, help and act of kindness。原文利用简单句、并列句、非谓语动词和主从复合句，进行动作描写、对话描写及一定的环境描写，因此续写部分可利用适当的并列句、非谓语动词和复合句进行动作和心理描写。可利用after that, later, on returning, although恰当过渡衔接。读后续写不是无视原文的独立创作，而是顺着原文作者的思路完成未完成的文本。动手续写之前，首先应认真阅读原文，带着when, where, who, what, why, how理清原文的故事背景(setting)、人物和原文故事发展的情节(plot)线和情感(feelings)发展线，把握其文本大意和叙事要表现的主题或意图，如2020新高考Ⅰ卷，通过讲述三个孩子在有限的条件下，帮助了另外一个想要帮助父母维持生活的小男孩的故事，体现一个“爱、帮助和善行”的主题。1．首先获取故事背景信息，如2020新高考Ⅰ卷在首段第二句和末句就交代了背景：The economy was in decline, people lost jobs, but they were trying to help each other.2．关注两条主线：准确理解原文，根据“谁、发生了什么”，快速理清原文对主要人或物的描写并对相关事件进行整理，提炼明线——故事情节线。接着通过情节线和原文对心理情感细节的描述进行合理推测，理清原文暗线——情感发展线。3．通过对原文故事背景、情节线和情感线的分析提炼，可以得出原文的主题或叙事意图。记叙文类的叙事意图或主题指故事主要内容传递给读者的信息，可以是情，也可以是理。续写部分要在叙述意图或主题上与原文保持一致。提炼出文本大意和叙述意图后，结合所给短文的情景模式，即5W(Who? What? When? Where? Why？)和两个续写段落首句中与5W相关的要点，以5W的角度想象续写部分的主要内容，预测故事的走向。1．两个续写段落的首句已给出，因此预测续写第一段的续写方向相对第二段较为明确。而第二段的续写方向较为开放，需结合原文的人物性格特征和故事发展脉络大胆预测。两个续写段落的首句既是提示，也是限制。因此，在预测内容时，须紧跟原文内容，紧密衔接段落首句，这样才能保证续写部分与原文情节的契合。2．续写方向的预测，必须密切结合原文的文本大意和叙述意图、情景模式以及原文的相关细节。一篇好的读后续写，其写作思路应遵循原文发展的情节线和情感发展线，即续写部分与原文达到“两情相悦”时，才能与原文高度融洽。1．首先应在情节的发展上与原文的情节发展是连贯而且是合理的，如2020新高考Ⅰ卷中提到Mrs. Meredith曾去过Bernard家，续写部分可用paid another visit to the family呼应原文这个细节。2．其次情感线的相悦指续写部分的人物心理情感的变化按照原文人物的心理情感的变化合理变化且与原文的主题一致。如2020新高考Ⅰ卷原文主题是“爱、帮助和善行”，续写部分应在进行情感描写时描写Bernard受到帮助后的感激之情，同时利用心理描写点明原文主题，升华全文的情感。不同的文章有不同的语言特点，有正式与非正式之分，有朴素与华丽之分，有简洁明快与繁复含蓄之分。但是同一篇文章的语言特点应该是一致的，续写时应判断并沿用原文语言特点，使续写部分与原文浑然一体。①句式结构上：简单句、复合句以及强调句、倒装句等特殊句式的使用情况，如原文利用的简单句较多，而复合句等较少或几乎没有，那么续写部分就应多利用简单句进行描写，而不应过多涉及复合句。②语法结构上：主被动语态、非谓语动词、独立主格结构、with复合结构、虚拟语气等的使用情况。③词汇选择上：常见初级词汇、高级词汇以及不同词性的使用情况。①续写时，应尽可能根据原文在句子结构、语法结构、词汇选择和修辞手法上的语言特点方面遣词造句。②不能因个人喜好或为追求词句的高级和复杂等，刻意将不符合原文的词句生搬硬套到续写部分。③记叙文中常出现人物之间的对话。如果用直接引语记录人物间的对话，应特别留意人物的特点和对话的情境。任何人物的语言都应该和人物的特点一致， 符合其身份和性格特征。④人物的语言也应和说话时的情境吻合，即什么情况下说什么话，如紧急情况下的话语应该是短促的，不适合用复杂的带有从句的复合句。阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。
In 2019, I rescued a skittish donkey (容易受惊的驴). Bo came from a nearby cattle ranch and now lives peacefully on my ranch in the Bitterroot Valley of Montana, along with another donkey, three horses, and two dogs. But the key to Bo’s successful recovery from nervous rescue to happy ranch animal wasn’t anything I did. It was my grandson, Dylan.When he was just shy of four years old, Dylan came with his parents to spend the Fourth of July with me on their way to Canada for a vacation. Bo kept his distance from the grown-ups, but he displayed an unusual fascination with Dylan. So we decided to introduce them. “Move slowly, keep your arms down, be quiet, and stoop down sometimes,” I told my grandson. Dylan cautiously approached Bo, step by step, holding a soft rubber comb. Bo held his ground, but he seemed interested with this little visitor. Dylan rubbed Bo’s shoulders and neck softly with the comb, removing remains of his thick winter coat.It’s hard for an almost four-year-old to stay still for long, and motivation overcame self-control. Dylan made one quick move, and Bo jumped off with light steps. But Bo and Dylan were not ready to give up. Dylan approached again. To witness a preschooler learn to control himself in such a short time was amazing.As we watched, true love developed between this once distrustful donkey and a gentle boy.___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________They met again one week later as the family passed through on their return trip.___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________As we watched, true love developed between this once distrustful pony and a gentle boy. Over the next few days, Bo let Dylan throw his arms around his neck, pet his legs, hold his head in his hands, and pat his cheeks. And Dylan felt free to sit at Bo’s feet while Bo carefully sniffed his shirt collar and hair and rubbed Dylan’s back with his hairy chin. Just as Dylan had earned Bo’s trust, Bo showed attachment to Dylan. Thus, Bo seemed unable to tear himself away from Dylan when he and his parents had to depart.They met again one week later as the family passed through on their return trip. It was almost dark, but Dylan and his dad paced to the far reaches of the ranch. Bo came to meet them enthusiastically. He hugged Dylan as if saying “long time no see” ---yes, a donkey can hug---without knocking him off balance. He is now a changed and trusting donkey. And Dylan is a miracle worker.本文以人物为线索展开，讲述了“我”救助了一头驴Bo，但是真正让这头驴从紧张中恢复过来的是我4岁的孙子Dylan。学龄前的孙子在如此短的时间内学会控制自己，一步步接近这头驴并取得它的信任真是一件不可思议的事情。①由第一段首句内容“正如我们所看到的，这头曾经不信任的驴子和一个温柔的男孩之间产生了真实的爱。”可知，第一段可描写Bo和Dylan如何相处，如何表现出对彼此的信任。②由第二段首句内容“一周后，当他们一家人在回程途中经过时，他们又见面了。”可知第二段可描写再次重逢之后Bo和Dylan的表现。2.续写线索：产生真实的爱——Bo和Dylan的表现——彼此信任——离开——重逢——彼此的喜悦——感悟①抱住脖子：throw one’s arms around one’s neck/one’s arms clasp around one’s neck②觉得可以随意做某事：feel free to do sth./feel at ease to do sth.③强迫某人离开：tear sb. away/force sb. away②热情：enthusiastically/passionately/warmly[高分句型1]. Just as Dylan had earned Bo’s trust, Bo showed attachment to Dylan.（高级短语show attachment to sb.：“表现出对某人的依恋”的使用）[高分句型2]. He hugged Dylan as if saying “long time no see” ---yes, a donkey can hug---without knocking him off balance.（as if 引导的方式状语从句的省略）
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